Prepare to have your mind blown away with that is essentially the hardest piece of truth you’re  ever to swallow. Almost everything you know about the nice guy syndrome is a lie.

And if women online or in articles have ever tried to make you feel guilty for your nice-guy beliefs, I’m about to show you the motives behind these women’s insults and taunts – hint, its not a pretty secret.

In fact, the nice guy phenomenon itself is really this weird, complicated universe of conflicting interests, manipulations and distortions, profound in their depth and complexity. In fact, what I will reveal may anger a lot of women, as well as shock most men who refuse to accept women as they truly are. The sad truth is that almost everything out there about nice guys is false. Both the camps sympathetic to nice guys, and the camps bashing and shaming nice guys are utterly wrong and dishonest. The actual, objective truth is hidden somewhere else entirely.

First Things First – What Is The Nice Guy Syndrome?

The technical definition of the nice guy syndrome, simply states that this is a set of behaviors and characteristics that certain guys possess and perform. These include things such as: going out of your way to please people; overly focusing on giving other people what they want; offering unreciprocated favors and gifts; as well as avoiding confrontations and disagreement at all cost.

The problem with this “technical” definition is that it doesn’t say anything useful. In fact, if anyone read the definition above, they’d be confused to hear that there’s so much confusion, anger and debate about the phenomenon of nice guys. You see, there’s another, very deeply hidden secret about the nice guy phenomenon, and it concerns something you might not have heard mentioned before.

when women say they “want nice guys”, they have a very different definition than most guys do

There is a simple question that I shall pose, that will help you sense where I am headed. This is a question that far too many people have left out of the debate for too long. Let me give you a hint. Have you ever wondered what the difference between a ‘good guy’ and a ‘nice guy’ is? And if so, how can it help us understand the nice guy phenomenon as well as all the conflicting opinions about it? You see, very often, when women say they “want nice guys”, they have a very different definition then what you, or most guys might have. In fact, its radically different then you might even guess at.

Speaking Of Which… Crave Any Fatties Lately?

What am I talking about? Cravings? Fatties? Am I losing it? No, and in fact, this is extremely related to the subject at hand. In order to understand the nice guy phenomenon a little better, we will have to depart from it for a little. In fact, you will have to face some intellectual honesty you might not have faced before. It won’t be a hard exercise though, and I promise to make it simple and easy. In fact, I’ll go straight to an example that will start to clear the fog and uncover the matrix.

Imagine the following: You somehow happen to meet and get to know two women. They’re good friends, but radically different from each other. One of them looks like your favorite pornstar (let’s call her “Roxy”), but she’s addicted to cocaine, hangs out with criminals and is known to stalk former lovers and threaten them with false charges and violence. In fact her criminal buddies are known to crack skulls for her. The other woman is “Peggie” – an obese, unkempt and facially deformed woman, who happens to be the nicest person ever. She goes out of her way to please you, be nice to you and does everything you’d ask for. Whom do you desire having sex with more?

Wait, Are You Saying Nice Guys Are All Obese And Ugly!?!

Not exactly, in fact, it has nothing to do with looks. The wormhole goes a bit deeper than that, and the curtain has only just begun unfurling, right here, in front of your eyes. You see, the main reason that you crave hot women is evolution. There are certain physical traits that for most of human history were associated with a “good mommy”. In essence, the more a woman had these certain physical traits, the more it was guaranteed she’d make a good mommy to your babies. The problem in the modern world is that you can have a woman who achieves these through bulimia and drugs.

This is what I call the dreaded curse of the ancient markers.

Obviously, Peggy would make for a better mommy, and you consciously know this, but it doesn’t matter. You’re still physically drawn to Roxy, as your only intention right now is to just get laid. This is what I call the curse of the ancient markers. It means you are hard-wired to be attracted to certain markers, instead of qualities. You are drawn to a certain breast size and shape, waist to hip ratio, skin quality and tone… Yet, these markers are poor indicators of anything fertility-related in many cases, and especially in the modern world.

Does this also explain the bad-boy phenomenon?

Actually, yes it does. You see, whereas most of your attraction markers are based on fertility indicators, a woman’s attraction is based on status indicators. Oddly enough, today, bad-boys display a lot of fake status markers, just like Roxy from our example showed false fertility markers.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. There is actually a really weird (at first glance) marker that humans use to decide how to act around others. A stunning study recently actually showed a direct relation between status and “niceness”. In essence, when a person had lower status than their conversational subject, they acted more agreeable, and nice. The bigger the status difference, the more the low-status subject tried to please the other.

This explains the real reason why women dislike nice guys

This explains the real reason why women dislike nice guys. They might make all sorts of excuses and try to insult the nice guys, but in truth, they dislike nice guys because they display low status. And remember, the number one imperative of females in the human species is to bind with a male that has higher status than she does. This is a phenomenon known as hypergamy and stands behind all of male-female relations in society.

In fact, hypergamy is probably both the best proven, and best documented trait of females in most species, including the human species. The highest value females in our society, the “hotties”, openly show this drive and even turn into unabashed “gold-diggers”. On the other end of the spectrum however are the low-value females. Being unattractive, they can’t afford to satisfy their hypergamy drive, so their instinct is to get whatever they can. In order to achive this, one of the strategies of the “uggos” is to keep beta males dazed, confused and frustrated.

This is why you will see how unattractive women will feign outrage at even the mere mention of a concept like hypergamy. Remember, the goal of the “uggos” is to keep nice-guys from growing in status and effectivelly attracting the “hotties”. In fact, most dating advice that teaches you to be nice is written by unattractive women. Its quite sneaky, and it works. Confused nice-guys end up frustrated in their attempts with the “hotties” and eventually decide to settle with a “uggo”.

Did you know? Scientists have actually done studies where they have shown that women are more attracted to arrogant signals of high status. In one study they actually had photos of the exact same guys, either being casual and looking at the camera (the female viewer) in a friendly, nice and pleasing manner; or looking away in a dismissive or cocky manner. Guess which photos got the guy rated as being hotter? Yep, the arrogant and cocky ones. The women of course could not tell why they find the guy hot, they “simply did”. That’s just one of many studies in which scientists have shown how indifference, arrogance and even narcissism make a guy more attractive to women.

Whereas a person who is indifferent due to real high status, will have people kissing up to him, a jerk will not. The guy who’s just a jerk, and arrogant out of sheer “badness” will not be liked by other people. Most normal men will not want to be his friend, and most women will hate his guts. Guess what though? A lot of women are going to be attracted to him. Its just like you hate “bitches” like our friend Roxy from earlier, yet you fantasize about “banging her”, the women too despise and dislike bad boys, yet end up banging, and even dating them so often.

So Nice Guys Are Really Unfair Victims Of An Evolutionary Glitch?

No, not really, in fact nice guys contribute to their own downturn in a big way. You see, when the nice-guy cliché started really picking up in the 90’s, and early 2000s, a backlash was born. The unabated cries of men were started to be answered by women, but the response wasn’t pretty. In fact, any and all of the major responses to nice guys involved putting the nice guys down and putting the blame entirely on the “victims”, refusing any responsibility on the part of women.

he’s really a conniving, manipulative asshole

And to a small extent [the backlash leaders] were right. What they suggested is that nice guys, are not really nice guys. In fact, they pointed out how when a nice guy is trying to please a woman, listening to all her problems and pretending to care about subjects she finds fascinating, he’s really a conniving, manipulative asshole.

The problem however… Is that the women pointing the finger were just as intellectually dishonest. They did point to a valid issue about the intellectual dishonesty of the “nice guys”. It is in fact true, that most of the “nice things” that these guys do are neither genuine nor sincere. The average nice guy out there is in fact pretending to care about her emotions and feelings; watching movies he dislikes, while pretending to like them; and being all-around dishonest simply to get into her pants.

Did you know? Several additional studies have further proven that bad boys do finish first. Not only are women more attracted more to bad boys (the ancient markers), but women do also actually end up hooking up with and dating these bad boys in the real, practical sense as well.

The points these backlashers make, though exaggerated, are in fact true. The problem however is that there is a huge bit of intellectual dishonesty on the part of the accusers as well. What they forget, is the original cry of the nice guys. These men never claimed to be perfect or without ulterior motive, they simply pointed out the dishonesty of women.

Any woman who tries to shame you or insult you for being a nice guy, is really mad at herself

Their entire life they had been told by women that they want a “nice guy”, but then they witnessed these same women going for the worst possible assholes and jerks. The real truth, is that the backlash against nice guys is really lead by feminists, bitches and other gynocentric individuals and groups. Any woman who tries to shame you or insult you for being a nice guy, is really mad at herself.

The truth is that bad-boys are kind of like junk-food.

Nobody has it on their list when they go into the supermarket. They have a list of so called “health foods”* when they go in, but end up fetching the tasty stuff we’re biologically programmed to crave. And just like with food, the more unhappy and lacking in esteem that you are, the more you succumb to your cravings. The more of a “void” that you have going on inside, the more you need to stuff it full of sensation numbing indulgences.

When you read an article that bashes, insults and rips apart nice guys, you need to feel sorry for the author. She’s really mad at herself, and her inability to resist bad-boys. She’s an unhappy individual who’s turning her self-hatred on the outside and lashing out. As we explained above, there is a kernel of truth to what she says, but then she exaggerates it and tries to shame you with it. Don’t fall for it. Any mature, well-balanced woman will be able to explain things in a balanced way.

*Note: The whole concept of junk-foods and health-foods is in itself a fraud, and a false distinction, but I’m just using them here as a metaphor as they’re extremely suitable for this demonstration.

Are You Saying I Need To Become A Jerk Then!?

I would no more recommend that, then I would recommend women become “Roxy” in order to attract men. Its short-sighted and stupid. You see, men in general go through three general stages in the process of maturing in their understanding of women. Most guys remain in stage 1, which is the nice-guy stage. Some guys progress to stage 2, which is the jerk stage. A very lucky and rare few, do eventually mature to the peak of the mountain, and reach stage 3, the good guy, the real man.

Now, I do realize that what I just pointed out is almost insulting in its simplicity, but it really is that simple. It does, however open a new question “How the heck do you become a ‘real man’, and what does it mean to develop character?” How do you “get status”? Does that mean you need be famous? Well that too my friend is really simple. All you need to do is develop the six main areas of your life.

Simple and true you might say… And in fact, too simple, too vague, and not anything “concrete”, right? Well, you see, that’s the trick. There is no concrete thing to say or do in order to (for example) become a social wonder tomorrow. You know exactly what you need to do, it just takes years of going out and socializing. You know exactly what you need to do, in order to get a fun lifestyle – optimize your day, ditch addictions like TV and surfing, and get more time for hobbies and other lifestyle activities. Now, you already know all this, and you know how to get any of the 6 status-components in the list above.

The 3 Secret Tips You Didn’t Know

So, if you know exactly what you need to do get these 6 things, and you also know they will give you tons of status, then why don’t you have them yet? Well, its not your fault really. You were simply mislead about how to get them, and exactly how much of them you need.

1) It’s not a race. 2) Do it one bite at a time 3) You don’t need to be perfect, just better

Now, what this means in practice, is that the reason most guys don’t (for example) become “relatively fit” is because of perfectionism. They think they have to get a perfect fitness model body in 6 months, or else they’re a failure. They tend to sign up to a hardcore gym, train like Rambo for 2 weeks, get overwhelmed and then quit.The trick is that the 90/10 rule applies here as well. Simply getting a “relatively fit” body gets you 90% of the status that looking like a male model does. Just exercising 10 minutes a day, at home, with the right exercise, has 90% of the same results as being obsessed with fitness. You don’t need to be perfect, just fitter than the average guy .

You need to become ok with things taking time. If you just commit to exercising every day for 10 minutes, in 2 years you will be radically transformed. If you simply decide to slowly ramp up your social life and join more hobbies and activities, adding one every month or two… over a few years you will have drastically expanded your lifestyle and social circle.

Do it one bit at a time. Also, when I say become good at some skill, I don’t mean that you become “amazing”. Don’t try to become for example the world’s most famous yoga celebrity. Just being known in your town as a guest instructor of Yoga is good enough to give you status. This is especially true when you combine it with the other 6 areas. Simply become “a bit above average” in these six areas, and you will have high status. And yes, you will blast that nice guy syndrome out of existence.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

Nice guy no more; I’m going bad boy? I just got done reading a lot of info both here and everywhere online and I decided for the first time in my life to try the bad boy approach for myself. So ladies (over 18 only please) tell me if this is what attracts you to the bad ones.

1.Supreme confidence in every situation–borderline cocky.
2.Never smile and never give compliments–even insult her.
3.Blatant disregard for any rules-without breaking the law.
4.Always be in control.
5. Be aloof–don’t call after dates, keep her guessing.
6. Never be dependable; never be where she expects you to be.

Also, this question is directed only towards the ladies out there who know they prefer to date bad boys. If you like the nice guys please don’t answer. Thanks!

My answer:

Let me tell you first that most women will not admit to you that they are attracted to bad boys. They simply care too much what society thinks of them. It’s the way they were raised and the way that everyone expects them to be.

Now, on your transformation. I understand why you don’t want to be a nice guy any more. Nice guys truly do finish last, if they ever finish! However, don’t think that you are going to become a bad boy so easily. If you have been a nice guy all your life, it won’t be a bit easy becoming a bad boy. Bad boys are usually jerks, and you don’t need to become a jerk to attract women.

All those rules up there that you wrote are good, but they are to strict to be followed ALL THE TIME. You should use them flexibly. Rather than force to being a bad boy, become a true confident man that simply says NO when he means NO, and says YES when he means YES. Don’t seek approval from women, don’t try to impress them. Live outside your comfort zone as much as you can.

See, those are simple guidelines to follow. There are a few of them and you can see how they work for you.

I know that you see everyday a number of great women walking past you. And you don’t have a clue what should you do to stop them and have a conversation with them. And we are not talking about normal conversation, we are a talking about the conversation in which you express your intention of being with her. Would you like to know how to do that. Imagine how your life would look like if you do that just with one woman everyday. Your life would turn around. So what are you waiting for.

Guys start analyzing and talking to themselves when they see an attractive woman. Instead of saying anything just to start talking they go into their head and do nothing. When they actually figure out what they should say the woman is long gone.

The best thing you can do when you see a woman like that is to simply stop thinking and stop her right away. Just say: “Hey stop.” Then introduce yourself and say why you stopped her. You stopped her because she was beautiful/sexy/interesting/sweet and you wanted to talk to her.

You may think that this wont work for you because it does not involve some fancy lines or trickery. Well that’s exactly why it works, honesty always works. And don’t get fooled, beautiful women get hit on all the time. But men don’t ask to see them in private. They are scared senseless.

So the best way is to be quick and to the point. Tell her that you  like her and ask her for a number. Important thing – if you can go with her on a date right on the spot. Everybody has 15 minutes for coffee, don’t excuse yourself. Then you can ask the woman all kinds of question and actually see is she good for you or not. If you really don’t have time then set up a date for that day in the evening or for the very next day. Don’t fool yourself that you have all the time in the world. You don’t.

Is it really true that nice guys always finish last; that the jerks are the ones who make it in this world? Well, yes.. in some situations. But in dating scene nice guys definitely finish first, especially when they learn some professional tips and tricks. So what are the tips that could turn the dating world in your favour? There are few of them, so let’s get started.

The first tip is very simple, and probably you have heard it before. It says that you should always be genuine. If you want to have true success with women and dating then you should always be honest with yourself and with your partner. Lying and holding back is something that you should always avoid, it ruins any kind of relationship, especially this one you are seeking. Most people appreciate honesty, those who don’t appreciate it also don’t appreciate themselves. Just be genuine and open and show your true self to your partner. As you do this you will have more fun and less stress.

The other important thing is that you should always maintain a good outlook on life. Positive people are always more attractive than negative ones. Let your glass be half-full not half-empty. Of course it is not possible to be happy all the time, but keep an eye on the bright side of life. That kind of attitude will help you in all areas of your life, not just dating.

Also it is very important to stand out of the crowd in any way you can. Make yourself known. Bring humor and fun into your relationships. Humor helps you to relieve stress and it’s a great tool for connecting with your loved ones. Humor is one of the factors that can make or brake relationships, keep an eye on that. Having a successful life also means laughing at yourself sometimes. We all make mistakes, accept them with grace and laugh at them.

Mutual respect is one of the most important factors that keep the relationship. We all deserve it, and you are in big trouble if you think that you are better than other people. That’s is a serious character flaw, work on making eradicating it. Normal people always treat each other with respect. In conversation you show respect to the other person by looking her in the eyes and listening. Don’t interrupt a woman with your self-praise stories. If you listen for a change, your relationship will flourish.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

NICE GUYS…????????? Okay.

So guys – you’re always sweet and nice to pretty much all girls…like go out of your way nice…and let’s say pretty good looking as well. So how would a girl you are interested in as more than a friend know you aren’t just another girl you’re being overly nice to?? PLEASE SHARE.

(The guy I’m interested in is really nice to everyone so it’s hard to tell if he likes me more than just a friend. We’ve been friends for 2 years, but this whole hanging around me/sitting by me/telling me how amazing I am has just started this semester (first semester he’s not had his long-term girlfriend)).

My answer:

Well, if he has been telling you how amazing you are just recently, it may be an indication. It is most probable that he does like you more than a friend. But, you really have to make sure of this.

You can test him if he likes you more than a friend. I remember when I was in the same situation as your friend. I didn’t know she liked me. So, one day when we were out as friends, we started talking about kissing. We didn’t even talk that much about it, but it was obviously enough for what she was about to do.

She told me “Hey, I wonder how you kiss? Let’s kiss for a moment so I can find out”. Since she was being so playful and cool about it, we kissed for a short time and soon after that I really got the picture that she didn’t just do that for short term fun.

Try anything with him that goes beyond your everyday friendly interactions.

Acting like a nice guy is not so good when it comes to relations with women. This is a common knowledge. For women nice guys are nice, and only that. There is no adventure or challenge in them. Women will say all kind of nice things about nice guys, but they will never be attracted to them. Too bad, sorry.

This does not mean that all of a sudden you should become an arrogant prick. This is only a short term solution to a long term problem. And it wont work for you, you will look incongruent. Women will talk about you but not in a good way. You don’t want that also.

The best way to become more attractive is to use humor when you talk with women. And the best way you can use humor AND spark up attraction is to use cocky funny humor. Add just a little bit of cocky attitude in your jokes and you are on the right path.

The best way to tease a girl is through a simple friendly conversation. I know this sounds weird but you should treat a woman like you bratty younger sister. This is so good for attraction that women will actually flock to you if you use this little technique.

This whole humor thing may sound weird to you. That’s because no one told you about the importance of it when you meet women. Must guys think about humor as using some cheesy jokes and on liners. That’s not real humor, that’s junk.

Humor is a tool for attitude projection, remember that well. And when you use cocky funny humor, you project the right attitude. Women are always interested to a challenge of any kind, especially if comes in a form of a cocky and funny man.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

Im tired of playing the nice guy and being stepped on. How do i act like the not nice guy? Well, im a nice guy and i have gotten walked on passed over one too many times. I don’t want to be an a-hole but what techniques do the not nice guys do, that i can use in my repertoire so i can stop being walked over and put in the friend zone.

My answer:

I was in the same situation as you many years ago. It’s good that you don’t want to become a jerk, because many nice guys take that direction after years of frustration.

Here is some bad news. You cannot stop being a nice guy just with some techniques. This is a process that’s going to take years to unlearn. Anyone who says differently is trying to scam you to buy their product or method.

Since there is so much to tell and I can’t change you through this post, let me give you suggestions on where to start. Go to google and write “datinggroundwork” and “succeed socially”. Study the second website especially well. They are both from the same author, who spent years developing confidence.

Just be careful of the people who want to get you to buy something from them. Those two websites are all you need for at least 1-2 years.

Some girl  from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious she hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on her question, and how I answer it.

Question:

Do nice guys finish last because they become the friend first? i was thinking about how “nice” guys always complain that girls want the bad boys instead of them.

1. not all of us want bad boys.
2. is the problem being that the nice guy becomes friends first, and when he tells how he feels, its too late, and she has the image of “brotherly” love for the dude?

My answer:

Yes girl, you got it! His problem is that he never shows any sexual confidence and acts as a brotherly friend from the beginning.

He is extremely nice from the beginning. He doesn’t go for what he want (sex). After a lot of time passes, he verbally explains to the woman that he likes her, providing that he has the courage to do even that. After that, he starts hating women and being resentful and revengeful.

Most women can’t help themselves here. They already feel only friendship toward the guy. It’s not a conscious choice women make. It’s just nature taking place.

And yes, nice guys do not lose because they are not bad boys. They lose because they don’t show any confidence and sexual determination with women at all.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question:

“Nice Guy’s Finish Last”? I’ve been reading up on nice guys, and wonder if there’s really a hint of truth in the “nice guys finish last” theory.

Speaking for myself, I’m generally a very nice guy; I take the initiative to do nice things for other people like opening the door for them or listening when they need advice. I don’t think I’ve turned down anyone in need of help. Heck, I’ve been described as a nice time quite a few times already (especially from some of my girl friends). Is this ruining my chances of finding that someone (i.e. people just taking advantage of my niceness)? What’s the deal with nice guys and relationships anyways?

Btw, I try not to be a pushover (I make my own choices and whatnot), but how nice is too nice?

My answer:

Well, if you are asking if it will ruin your chances of finding someone, I think the nice guy syndrome is somewhat hurting you. I am not sure what situation you are in, but I can tell you one thing: the Nice Guy theory is correct. I’ve been a nice guy most of my life and I have only gotten bad things out of the. The good things I perceived back then, like comfort, pity, similar nice guy friend, were not actually good things, they were bad things that only kept me a nice guy.

Nice guys truly do finish last. This however doesn’t mean that you have to be a jerk to succeed in life and with women. You have to maintain boundaries which you let no one cross. If you are strong and confident, it means that you say YES when you mean YES, and say NO when you mean no. Nice guys secretly believe that they are superior towards everyone else because they are so nice. They even secretly resent confident people.

If you get rejected and used by women a lot, you might be a nice guy. If you are older than 18, and you don’t have any sexual experience, you are probably a nice guy.

If you are, you can get help, don’t worry.