nice guy syndrome

Prepare to have your mind blown away with that is essentially the hardest piece of truth you’re  ever to swallow. Almost everything you know about the nice guy syndrome is a lie.

And if women online or in articles have ever tried to make you feel guilty for your nice-guy beliefs, I’m about to show you the motives behind these women’s insults and taunts – hint, its not a pretty secret.

In fact, the nice guy phenomenon itself is really this weird, complicated universe of conflicting interests, manipulations and distortions, profound in their depth and complexity. In fact, what I will reveal may anger a lot of women, as well as shock most men who refuse to accept women as they truly are. The sad truth is that almost everything out there about nice guys is false. Both the camps sympathetic to nice guys, and the camps bashing and shaming nice guys are utterly wrong and dishonest. The actual, objective truth is hidden somewhere else entirely.

First Things First – What Is The Nice Guy Syndrome?

The technical definition of the nice guy syndrome, simply states that this is a set of behaviors and characteristics that certain guys possess and perform. These include things such as: going out of your way to please people; overly focusing on giving other people what they want; offering unreciprocated favors and gifts; as well as avoiding confrontations and disagreement at all cost.

The problem with this “technical” definition is that it doesn’t say anything useful. In fact, if anyone read the definition above, they’d be confused to hear that there’s so much confusion, anger and debate about the phenomenon of nice guys. You see, there’s another, very deeply hidden secret about the nice guy phenomenon, and it concerns something you might not have heard mentioned before.

when women say they “want nice guys”, they have a very different definition than most guys do

There is a simple question that I shall pose, that will help you sense where I am headed. This is a question that far too many people have left out of the debate for too long. Let me give you a hint. Have you ever wondered what the difference between a ‘good guy’ and a ‘nice guy’ is? And if so, how can it help us understand the nice guy phenomenon as well as all the conflicting opinions about it? You see, very often, when women say they “want nice guys”, they have a very different definition then what you, or most guys might have. In fact, its radically different then you might even guess at.

Speaking Of Which… Crave Any Fatties Lately?

What am I talking about? Cravings? Fatties? Am I losing it? No, and in fact, this is extremely related to the subject at hand. In order to understand the nice guy phenomenon a little better, we will have to depart from it for a little. In fact, you will have to face some intellectual honesty you might not have faced before. It won’t be a hard exercise though, and I promise to make it simple and easy. In fact, I’ll go straight to an example that will start to clear the fog and uncover the matrix.

Imagine the following: You somehow happen to meet and get to know two women. They’re good friends, but radically different from each other. One of them looks like your favorite pornstar (let’s call her “Roxy”), but she’s addicted to cocaine, hangs out with criminals and is known to stalk former lovers and threaten them with false charges and violence. In fact her criminal buddies are known to crack skulls for her. The other woman is “Peggie” – an obese, unkempt and facially deformed woman, who happens to be the nicest person ever. She goes out of her way to please you, be nice to you and does everything you’d ask for. Whom do you desire having sex with more?

Wait, Are You Saying Nice Guys Are All Obese And Ugly!?!

Not exactly, in fact, it has nothing to do with looks. The wormhole goes a bit deeper than that, and the curtain has only just begun unfurling, right here, in front of your eyes. You see, the main reason that you crave hot women is evolution. There are certain physical traits that for most of human history were associated with a “good mommy”. In essence, the more a woman had these certain physical traits, the more it was guaranteed she’d make a good mommy to your babies. The problem in the modern world is that you can have a woman who achieves these through bulimia and drugs.

This is what I call the dreaded curse of the ancient markers.

Obviously, Peggy would make for a better mommy, and you consciously know this, but it doesn’t matter. You’re still physically drawn to Roxy, as your only intention right now is to just get laid. This is what I call the curse of the ancient markers. It means you are hard-wired to be attracted to certain markers, instead of qualities. You are drawn to a certain breast size and shape, waist to hip ratio, skin quality and tone… Yet, these markers are poor indicators of anything fertility-related in many cases, and especially in the modern world.

Does this also explain the bad-boy phenomenon?

Actually, yes it does. You see, whereas most of your attraction markers are based on fertility indicators, a woman’s attraction is based on status indicators. Oddly enough, today, bad-boys display a lot of fake status markers, just like Roxy from our example showed false fertility markers.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. There is actually a really weird (at first glance) marker that humans use to decide how to act around others. A stunning study recently actually showed a direct relation between status and “niceness”. In essence, when a person had lower status than their conversational subject, they acted more agreeable, and nice. The bigger the status difference, the more the low-status subject tried to please the other.

This explains the real reason why women dislike nice guys

This explains the real reason why women dislike nice guys. They might make all sorts of excuses and try to insult the nice guys, but in truth, they dislike nice guys because they display low status. And remember, the number one imperative of females in the human species is to bind with a male that has higher status than she does. This is a phenomenon known as hypergamy and stands behind all of male-female relations in society.

In fact, hypergamy is probably both the best proven, and best documented trait of females in most species, including the human species. The highest value females in our society, the “hotties”, openly show this drive and even turn into unabashed “gold-diggers”. On the other end of the spectrum however are the low-value females. Being unattractive, they can’t afford to satisfy their hypergamy drive, so their instinct is to get whatever they can. In order to achive this, one of the strategies of the “uggos” is to keep beta males dazed, confused and frustrated.

This is why you will see how unattractive women will feign outrage at even the mere mention of a concept like hypergamy. Remember, the goal of the “uggos” is to keep nice-guys from growing in status and effectivelly attracting the “hotties”. In fact, most dating advice that teaches you to be nice is written by unattractive women. Its quite sneaky, and it works. Confused nice-guys end up frustrated in their attempts with the “hotties” and eventually decide to settle with a “uggo”.

Did you know? Scientists have actually done studies where they have shown that women are more attracted to arrogant signals of high status. In one study they actually had photos of the exact same guys, either being casual and looking at the camera (the female viewer) in a friendly, nice and pleasing manner; or looking away in a dismissive or cocky manner. Guess which photos got the guy rated as being hotter? Yep, the arrogant and cocky ones. The women of course could not tell why they find the guy hot, they “simply did”. That’s just one of many studies in which scientists have shown how indifference, arrogance and even narcissism make a guy more attractive to women.

Whereas a person who is indifferent due to real high status, will have people kissing up to him, a jerk will not. The guy who’s just a jerk, and arrogant out of sheer “badness” will not be liked by other people. Most normal men will not want to be his friend, and most women will hate his guts. Guess what though? A lot of women are going to be attracted to him. Its just like you hate “bitches” like our friend Roxy from earlier, yet you fantasize about “banging her”, the women too despise and dislike bad boys, yet end up banging, and even dating them so often.

So Nice Guys Are Really Unfair Victims Of An Evolutionary Glitch?

No, not really, in fact nice guys contribute to their own downturn in a big way. You see, when the nice-guy cliché started really picking up in the 90’s, and early 2000s, a backlash was born. The unabated cries of men were started to be answered by women, but the response wasn’t pretty. In fact, any and all of the major responses to nice guys involved putting the nice guys down and putting the blame entirely on the “victims”, refusing any responsibility on the part of women.

he’s really a conniving, manipulative asshole

And to a small extent [the backlash leaders] were right. What they suggested is that nice guys, are not really nice guys. In fact, they pointed out how when a nice guy is trying to please a woman, listening to all her problems and pretending to care about subjects she finds fascinating, he’s really a conniving, manipulative asshole.

The problem however… Is that the women pointing the finger were just as intellectually dishonest. They did point to a valid issue about the intellectual dishonesty of the “nice guys”. It is in fact true, that most of the “nice things” that these guys do are neither genuine nor sincere. The average nice guy out there is in fact pretending to care about her emotions and feelings; watching movies he dislikes, while pretending to like them; and being all-around dishonest simply to get into her pants.

Did you know? Several additional studies have further proven that bad boys do finish first. Not only are women more attracted more to bad boys (the ancient markers), but women do also actually end up hooking up with and dating these bad boys in the real, practical sense as well.

The points these backlashers make, though exaggerated, are in fact true. The problem however is that there is a huge bit of intellectual dishonesty on the part of the accusers as well. What they forget, is the original cry of the nice guys. These men never claimed to be perfect or without ulterior motive, they simply pointed out the dishonesty of women.

Any woman who tries to shame you or insult you for being a nice guy, is really mad at herself

Their entire life they had been told by women that they want a “nice guy”, but then they witnessed these same women going for the worst possible assholes and jerks. The real truth, is that the backlash against nice guys is really lead by feminists, bitches and other gynocentric individuals and groups. Any woman who tries to shame you or insult you for being a nice guy, is really mad at herself.

The truth is that bad-boys are kind of like junk-food.

Nobody has it on their list when they go into the supermarket. They have a list of so called “health foods”* when they go in, but end up fetching the tasty stuff we’re biologically programmed to crave. And just like with food, the more unhappy and lacking in esteem that you are, the more you succumb to your cravings. The more of a “void” that you have going on inside, the more you need to stuff it full of sensation numbing indulgences.

When you read an article that bashes, insults and rips apart nice guys, you need to feel sorry for the author. She’s really mad at herself, and her inability to resist bad-boys. She’s an unhappy individual who’s turning her self-hatred on the outside and lashing out. As we explained above, there is a kernel of truth to what she says, but then she exaggerates it and tries to shame you with it. Don’t fall for it. Any mature, well-balanced woman will be able to explain things in a balanced way.

*Note: The whole concept of junk-foods and health-foods is in itself a fraud, and a false distinction, but I’m just using them here as a metaphor as they’re extremely suitable for this demonstration.

Are You Saying I Need To Become A Jerk Then!?

I would no more recommend that, then I would recommend women become “Roxy” in order to attract men. Its short-sighted and stupid. You see, men in general go through three general stages in the process of maturing in their understanding of women. Most guys remain in stage 1, which is the nice-guy stage. Some guys progress to stage 2, which is the jerk stage. A very lucky and rare few, do eventually mature to the peak of the mountain, and reach stage 3, the good guy, the real man.

Now, I do realize that what I just pointed out is almost insulting in its simplicity, but it really is that simple. It does, however open a new question “How the heck do you become a ‘real man’, and what does it mean to develop character?” How do you “get status”? Does that mean you need be famous? Well that too my friend is really simple. All you need to do is develop the six main areas of your life.

Simple and true you might say… And in fact, too simple, too vague, and not anything “concrete”, right? Well, you see, that’s the trick. There is no concrete thing to say or do in order to (for example) become a social wonder tomorrow. You know exactly what you need to do, it just takes years of going out and socializing. You know exactly what you need to do, in order to get a fun lifestyle – optimize your day, ditch addictions like TV and surfing, and get more time for hobbies and other lifestyle activities. Now, you already know all this, and you know how to get any of the 6 status-components in the list above.

The 3 Secret Tips You Didn’t Know

So, if you know exactly what you need to do get these 6 things, and you also know they will give you tons of status, then why don’t you have them yet? Well, its not your fault really. You were simply mislead about how to get them, and exactly how much of them you need.

1) It’s not a race. 2) Do it one bite at a time 3) You don’t need to be perfect, just better

 

Now, what this means in practice, is that the reason most guys don’t (for example) become “relatively fit” is because of perfectionism. They think they have to get a perfect fitness model body in 6 months, or else they’re a failure. They tend to sign up to a hardcore gym, train like Rambo for 2 weeks, get overwhelmed and then quit.The trick is that the 90/10 rule applies here as well. Simply getting a “relatively fit” body gets you 90% of the status that looking like a male model does. Just exercising 10 minutes a day, at home, with the right exercise, has 90% of the same results as being obsessed with fitness. You don’t need to be perfect, just fitter than the average guy .

You need to become ok with things taking time. If you just commit to exercising every day for 10 minutes, in 2 years you will be radically transformed. If you simply decide to slowly ramp up your social life and join more hobbies and activities, adding one every month or two… over a few years you will have drastically expanded your lifestyle and social circle.

Do it one bit at a time. Also, when I say become good at some skill, I don’t mean that you become “amazing”. Don’t try to become for example the world’s most famous yoga celebrity. Just being known in your town as a guest instructor of Yoga is good enough to give you status. This is especially true when you combine it with the other 6 areas. Simply become “a bit above average” in these six areas, and you will have high status. And yes, you will blast that nice guy syndrome out of existence.

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