Prepare to have your mind blown away with that is essentially the hardest piece of truth you’re  ever to swallow. Almost everything you know about the nice guy syndrome is a lie.

And if women online or in articles have ever tried to make you feel guilty for your nice-guy beliefs, I’m about to show you the motives behind these women’s insults and taunts – hint, its not a pretty secret.

In fact, the nice guy phenomenon itself is really this weird, complicated universe of conflicting interests, manipulations and distortions, profound in their depth and complexity. In fact, what I will reveal may anger a lot of women, as well as shock most men who refuse to accept women as they truly are. The sad truth is that almost everything out there about nice guys is false. Both the camps sympathetic to nice guys, and the camps bashing and shaming nice guys are utterly wrong and dishonest. The actual, objective truth is hidden somewhere else entirely.

First Things First – What Is The Nice Guy Syndrome?

The technical definition of the nice guy syndrome, simply states that this is a set of behaviors and characteristics that certain guys possess and perform. These include things such as: going out of your way to please people; overly focusing on giving other people what they want; offering unreciprocated favors and gifts; as well as avoiding confrontations and disagreement at all cost.

The problem with this “technical” definition is that it doesn’t say anything useful. In fact, if anyone read the definition above, they’d be confused to hear that there’s so much confusion, anger and debate about the phenomenon of nice guys. You see, there’s another, very deeply hidden secret about the nice guy phenomenon, and it concerns something you might not have heard mentioned before.

when women say they “want nice guys”, they have a very different definition than most guys do

There is a simple question that I shall pose, that will help you sense where I am headed. This is a question that far too many people have left out of the debate for too long. Let me give you a hint. Have you ever wondered what the difference between a ‘good guy’ and a ‘nice guy’ is? And if so, how can it help us understand the nice guy phenomenon as well as all the conflicting opinions about it? You see, very often, when women say they “want nice guys”, they have a very different definition then what you, or most guys might have. In fact, its radically different then you might even guess at.

Speaking Of Which… Crave Any Fatties Lately?

What am I talking about? Cravings? Fatties? Am I losing it? No, and in fact, this is extremely related to the subject at hand. In order to understand the nice guy phenomenon a little better, we will have to depart from it for a little. In fact, you will have to face some intellectual honesty you might not have faced before. It won’t be a hard exercise though, and I promise to make it simple and easy. In fact, I’ll go straight to an example that will start to clear the fog and uncover the matrix.

Imagine the following: You somehow happen to meet and get to know two women. They’re good friends, but radically different from each other. One of them looks like your favorite pornstar (let’s call her “Roxy”), but she’s addicted to cocaine, hangs out with criminals and is known to stalk former lovers and threaten them with false charges and violence. In fact her criminal buddies are known to crack skulls for her. The other woman is “Peggie” – an obese, unkempt and facially deformed woman, who happens to be the nicest person ever. She goes out of her way to please you, be nice to you and does everything you’d ask for. Whom do you desire having sex with more?

Wait, Are You Saying Nice Guys Are All Obese And Ugly!?!

Not exactly, in fact, it has nothing to do with looks. The wormhole goes a bit deeper than that, and the curtain has only just begun unfurling, right here, in front of your eyes. You see, the main reason that you crave hot women is evolution. There are certain physical traits that for most of human history were associated with a “good mommy”. In essence, the more a woman had these certain physical traits, the more it was guaranteed she’d make a good mommy to your babies. The problem in the modern world is that you can have a woman who achieves these through bulimia and drugs.

This is what I call the dreaded curse of the ancient markers.

Obviously, Peggy would make for a better mommy, and you consciously know this, but it doesn’t matter. You’re still physically drawn to Roxy, as your only intention right now is to just get laid. This is what I call the curse of the ancient markers. It means you are hard-wired to be attracted to certain markers, instead of qualities. You are drawn to a certain breast size and shape, waist to hip ratio, skin quality and tone… Yet, these markers are poor indicators of anything fertility-related in many cases, and especially in the modern world.

Does this also explain the bad-boy phenomenon?

Actually, yes it does. You see, whereas most of your attraction markers are based on fertility indicators, a woman’s attraction is based on status indicators. Oddly enough, today, bad-boys display a lot of fake status markers, just like Roxy from our example showed false fertility markers.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. There is actually a really weird (at first glance) marker that humans use to decide how to act around others. A stunning study recently actually showed a direct relation between status and “niceness”. In essence, when a person had lower status than their conversational subject, they acted more agreeable, and nice. The bigger the status difference, the more the low-status subject tried to please the other.

This explains the real reason why women dislike nice guys

This explains the real reason why women dislike nice guys. They might make all sorts of excuses and try to insult the nice guys, but in truth, they dislike nice guys because they display low status. And remember, the number one imperative of females in the human species is to bind with a male that has higher status than she does. This is a phenomenon known as hypergamy and stands behind all of male-female relations in society.

In fact, hypergamy is probably both the best proven, and best documented trait of females in most species, including the human species. The highest value females in our society, the “hotties”, openly show this drive and even turn into unabashed “gold-diggers”. On the other end of the spectrum however are the low-value females. Being unattractive, they can’t afford to satisfy their hypergamy drive, so their instinct is to get whatever they can. In order to achive this, one of the strategies of the “uggos” is to keep beta males dazed, confused and frustrated.

This is why you will see how unattractive women will feign outrage at even the mere mention of a concept like hypergamy. Remember, the goal of the “uggos” is to keep nice-guys from growing in status and effectivelly attracting the “hotties”. In fact, most dating advice that teaches you to be nice is written by unattractive women. Its quite sneaky, and it works. Confused nice-guys end up frustrated in their attempts with the “hotties” and eventually decide to settle with a “uggo”.

Did you know? Scientists have actually done studies where they have shown that women are more attracted to arrogant signals of high status. In one study they actually had photos of the exact same guys, either being casual and looking at the camera (the female viewer) in a friendly, nice and pleasing manner; or looking away in a dismissive or cocky manner. Guess which photos got the guy rated as being hotter? Yep, the arrogant and cocky ones. The women of course could not tell why they find the guy hot, they “simply did”. That’s just one of many studies in which scientists have shown how indifference, arrogance and even narcissism make a guy more attractive to women.

Whereas a person who is indifferent due to real high status, will have people kissing up to him, a jerk will not. The guy who’s just a jerk, and arrogant out of sheer “badness” will not be liked by other people. Most normal men will not want to be his friend, and most women will hate his guts. Guess what though? A lot of women are going to be attracted to him. Its just like you hate “bitches” like our friend Roxy from earlier, yet you fantasize about “banging her”, the women too despise and dislike bad boys, yet end up banging, and even dating them so often.

So Nice Guys Are Really Unfair Victims Of An Evolutionary Glitch?

No, not really, in fact nice guys contribute to their own downturn in a big way. You see, when the nice-guy cliché started really picking up in the 90’s, and early 2000s, a backlash was born. The unabated cries of men were started to be answered by women, but the response wasn’t pretty. In fact, any and all of the major responses to nice guys involved putting the nice guys down and putting the blame entirely on the “victims”, refusing any responsibility on the part of women.

he’s really a conniving, manipulative asshole

And to a small extent [the backlash leaders] were right. What they suggested is that nice guys, are not really nice guys. In fact, they pointed out how when a nice guy is trying to please a woman, listening to all her problems and pretending to care about subjects she finds fascinating, he’s really a conniving, manipulative asshole.

The problem however… Is that the women pointing the finger were just as intellectually dishonest. They did point to a valid issue about the intellectual dishonesty of the “nice guys”. It is in fact true, that most of the “nice things” that these guys do are neither genuine nor sincere. The average nice guy out there is in fact pretending to care about her emotions and feelings; watching movies he dislikes, while pretending to like them; and being all-around dishonest simply to get into her pants.

Did you know? Several additional studies have further proven that bad boys do finish first. Not only are women more attracted more to bad boys (the ancient markers), but women do also actually end up hooking up with and dating these bad boys in the real, practical sense as well.

The points these backlashers make, though exaggerated, are in fact true. The problem however is that there is a huge bit of intellectual dishonesty on the part of the accusers as well. What they forget, is the original cry of the nice guys. These men never claimed to be perfect or without ulterior motive, they simply pointed out the dishonesty of women.

Any woman who tries to shame you or insult you for being a nice guy, is really mad at herself

Their entire life they had been told by women that they want a “nice guy”, but then they witnessed these same women going for the worst possible assholes and jerks. The real truth, is that the backlash against nice guys is really lead by feminists, bitches and other gynocentric individuals and groups. Any woman who tries to shame you or insult you for being a nice guy, is really mad at herself.

The truth is that bad-boys are kind of like junk-food.

Nobody has it on their list when they go into the supermarket. They have a list of so called “health foods”* when they go in, but end up fetching the tasty stuff we’re biologically programmed to crave. And just like with food, the more unhappy and lacking in esteem that you are, the more you succumb to your cravings. The more of a “void” that you have going on inside, the more you need to stuff it full of sensation numbing indulgences.

When you read an article that bashes, insults and rips apart nice guys, you need to feel sorry for the author. She’s really mad at herself, and her inability to resist bad-boys. She’s an unhappy individual who’s turning her self-hatred on the outside and lashing out. As we explained above, there is a kernel of truth to what she says, but then she exaggerates it and tries to shame you with it. Don’t fall for it. Any mature, well-balanced woman will be able to explain things in a balanced way.

*Note: The whole concept of junk-foods and health-foods is in itself a fraud, and a false distinction, but I’m just using them here as a metaphor as they’re extremely suitable for this demonstration.

Are You Saying I Need To Become A Jerk Then!?

I would no more recommend that, then I would recommend women become “Roxy” in order to attract men. Its short-sighted and stupid. You see, men in general go through three general stages in the process of maturing in their understanding of women. Most guys remain in stage 1, which is the nice-guy stage. Some guys progress to stage 2, which is the jerk stage. A very lucky and rare few, do eventually mature to the peak of the mountain, and reach stage 3, the good guy, the real man.

Now, I do realize that what I just pointed out is almost insulting in its simplicity, but it really is that simple. It does, however open a new question “How the heck do you become a ‘real man’, and what does it mean to develop character?” How do you “get status”? Does that mean you need be famous? Well that too my friend is really simple. All you need to do is develop the six main areas of your life.

Simple and true you might say… And in fact, too simple, too vague, and not anything “concrete”, right? Well, you see, that’s the trick. There is no concrete thing to say or do in order to (for example) become a social wonder tomorrow. You know exactly what you need to do, it just takes years of going out and socializing. You know exactly what you need to do, in order to get a fun lifestyle – optimize your day, ditch addictions like TV and surfing, and get more time for hobbies and other lifestyle activities. Now, you already know all this, and you know how to get any of the 6 status-components in the list above.

The 3 Secret Tips You Didn’t Know

So, if you know exactly what you need to do get these 6 things, and you also know they will give you tons of status, then why don’t you have them yet? Well, its not your fault really. You were simply mislead about how to get them, and exactly how much of them you need.

1) It’s not a race. 2) Do it one bite at a time 3) You don’t need to be perfect, just better

Now, what this means in practice, is that the reason most guys don’t (for example) become “relatively fit” is because of perfectionism. They think they have to get a perfect fitness model body in 6 months, or else they’re a failure. They tend to sign up to a hardcore gym, train like Rambo for 2 weeks, get overwhelmed and then quit.The trick is that the 90/10 rule applies here as well. Simply getting a “relatively fit” body gets you 90% of the status that looking like a male model does. Just exercising 10 minutes a day, at home, with the right exercise, has 90% of the same results as being obsessed with fitness. You don’t need to be perfect, just fitter than the average guy .

You need to become ok with things taking time. If you just commit to exercising every day for 10 minutes, in 2 years you will be radically transformed. If you simply decide to slowly ramp up your social life and join more hobbies and activities, adding one every month or two… over a few years you will have drastically expanded your lifestyle and social circle.

Do it one bit at a time. Also, when I say become good at some skill, I don’t mean that you become “amazing”. Don’t try to become for example the world’s most famous yoga celebrity. Just being known in your town as a guest instructor of Yoga is good enough to give you status. This is especially true when you combine it with the other 6 areas. Simply become “a bit above average” in these six areas, and you will have high status. And yes, you will blast that nice guy syndrome out of existence.

I know that you see everyday a number of great women walking past you. And you don’t have a clue what should you do to stop them and have a conversation with them. And we are not talking about normal conversation, we are a talking about the conversation in which you express your intention of being with her. Would you like to know how to do that. Imagine how your life would look like if you do that just with one woman everyday. Your life would turn around. So what are you waiting for.

Guys start analyzing and talking to themselves when they see an attractive woman. Instead of saying anything just to start talking they go into their head and do nothing. When they actually figure out what they should say the woman is long gone.

The best thing you can do when you see a woman like that is to simply stop thinking and stop her right away. Just say: “Hey stop.” Then introduce yourself and say why you stopped her. You stopped her because she was beautiful/sexy/interesting/sweet and you wanted to talk to her.

You may think that this wont work for you because it does not involve some fancy lines or trickery. Well that’s exactly why it works, honesty always works. And don’t get fooled, beautiful women get hit on all the time. But men don’t ask to see them in private. They are scared senseless.

So the best way is to be quick and to the point. Tell her that you  like her and ask her for a number. Important thing – if you can go with her on a date right on the spot. Everybody has 15 minutes for coffee, don’t excuse yourself. Then you can ask the woman all kinds of question and actually see is she good for you or not. If you really don’t have time then set up a date for that day in the evening or for the very next day. Don’t fool yourself that you have all the time in the world. You don’t.

Acting like a nice guy is not so good when it comes to relations with women. This is a common knowledge. For women nice guys are nice, and only that. There is no adventure or challenge in them. Women will say all kind of nice things about nice guys, but they will never be attracted to them. Too bad, sorry.

This does not mean that all of a sudden you should become an arrogant prick. This is only a short term solution to a long term problem. And it wont work for you, you will look incongruent. Women will talk about you but not in a good way. You don’t want that also.

The best way to become more attractive is to use humor when you talk with women. And the best way you can use humor AND spark up attraction is to use cocky funny humor. Add just a little bit of cocky attitude in your jokes and you are on the right path.

The best way to tease a girl is through a simple friendly conversation. I know this sounds weird but you should treat a woman like you bratty younger sister. This is so good for attraction that women will actually flock to you if you use this little technique.

This whole humor thing may sound weird to you. That’s because no one told you about the importance of it when you meet women. Must guys think about humor as using some cheesy jokes and on liners. That’s not real humor, that’s junk.

Humor is a tool for attitude projection, remember that well. And when you use cocky funny humor, you project the right attitude. Women are always interested to a challenge of any kind, especially if comes in a form of a cocky and funny man.

Here is a nice article by some guy who obviously hasnt taken my secret quiz. The article is ok, it has some good points, and you might find it useful if you have already taken the quiz yourself.

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So you are dating, looking for that special girl? Well there are some basic errors you will have to avoid. Guys make these mistakes all the time, and lose the girls they might have had, dont make them and get the girl of your dreams.

• You are not an expert (if you are reading this), so seek help.

Talk to other guys, get their point of view. Speak to lady friends if you have any. Don’t be afraid to show that you are not a Don Juan. If you are having trouble, help is surely there. Ask for it!

• Learn to “read the signs”.

Most guys don’t understand body language, or really, a woman’s signals. Don’t make this error. There are many books, and articles such as this, that can show you what a woman is saying without words.

• Don’t be a passive male.

This is one of the worst errors you can make while dating. You’re a guy, be a guy, and stay on top of the situation. If you are passive, you turn off the lady faster than you might even believe. This doesn’t mean being a macho. It means, being yourself, and active, thinking, even sensitive, man.

• Not enough good looks? Not enough money?

This is basic error number 1. Obviously there are lots of ladies who are interested only in money or muscle, but do you really want a woman like that? You should know that most marriages and relationships based on material or physical issues only end as fast as they begin. If you are attracted to a particular lady and you sense she is after only money, stay away. If you think she is attracted only to muscle, she is a bimbo. Really stay away. You are who you are, if that is not good enough, then the lady in question does not matter at all.

• Not understanding the chemistry of love.

Ladies may be attracted to your DNA combination with theirs (as a potential mate). Their brain can interpret the smell from vast distances. This is a little understood part of the human condition, but you can be sure that all women have built in instincts, concerning their ‘nesting’ partner. This is worth real study if you are serious about dating.

• Moving too fast.

Take it easy!! What are you doing proposing for marriage after your first date? What a turn-off. Just relax. The moment will arrive later for you to express your feelings. Women will think you are a simpleton or worse by declarations of love after too short of time.

• Santa Claus Syndrome.

Gifts all the time, may seem correct to you, but too many and too soon is also a turn-off. It will show to the lady you are trying to buy her. A bought woman is called….what’s that word again?

• Mr. Nice Guy.

Wow!! Now here is a classic error. Its true she is looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Whatever, but Mr. Nice Guy ends up her buddy. You want a friend or a girlfriend. Decide. You must be polite (at all times), and you must be correct in your speech and actions, but not to extremes. Like the ancient Greeks used to say, “pan metron ariston” , “put a measure to all things”, and that means also in your overall attitude to your relations with the lady.

Don’t also be afraid to fail. Win some loose some is a great motto to adopt when dating. Should you follow the advice above, you will need to know all about getting intimate with your partner.

Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.

Question: No, I am not suffering from teh nice guy syndrome, if there is such a thing but I just feel that girls/women deserve more, even if they do not feel the same way now, trust me later on when they get a little older, they will look back and feel totally different unless…. Forget, No I ma not a female but I do have 3 sisters 3 older and one younger, so I have been abvle to pick up on alot of the things the guys have used to get the two older ones but has any though like this, (no it is not a new way of thinking, it has been stataed before), if a girl would be your friend with benefits, then how many other guys could he be doing things with? Or for those who think that is cool, then what if she is messing with someone who does not know but has something that he got from another friend with benefits?

Answer: Dude, I have no idea what your question is? Is this a question, or is this a fumbled up rant? Lol, I have NO idea what you’re asking. Are you asking why girls don’t go for nice guys? Or are you stating how they “wise up” as they get older and do go for the nice guys.

I’ll just comment on that last one. Women do not wise up as they get older, the settle. They no longer can get the jock, so they settle for nice-guys they can boss around.