Some dude from yahoo answers had a cool question. Now, its obvious he hasnt taken my secret quiz, but ignore that, and focus on his question, and how I answer it.
Question: I can understand the whole confidence thing, but what about a nice guy who does have some confidence where he can take people handing him some grief, but at the same time be able to dish out to his friends. Even be able to dish it out on himself. Does shyness of the guy really make that much of a difference?
Answer:
YES… YES… and then… YES.
Its all about the shyness. You see, women don’t really understand shyness in men. Let’s imagine two twin brothers. With everything else equal in personality, except one is shy, and the other is cocky/funny/charming… The latter will get laid at least 10 times more… And that’s no exaggeration. The reason?
1) Women don’t recognize shyness in men
A lot of guys out there say “women dislike lack of confidence”… and even thought that’s somewhat true, I don’t believe its the MAIN reason. A lot of girls actually like shy guys. In fact, a shy guy could have a dozen girls who had a crush in his life time, but he never hooks up with them or anything like that.
Why? Women have their own insecurities. When a guy is shy and uncommunicative, she sees it as rejection. I know that sounds weird, but if a girl looks over at a guy, and he doesn’t come up to her and flirt – she thinks she’s rejected! I know, it sounds crazy. The guy is too shy to approach her, but she assumes he doesn’t like her. Even if she’s really confident and does the flirting first, the shy guy will be cold and unresponsive. The reason he doesn’t flirt back ,is because he’s shy… But she thinks her flirting is being rejected. What does she do then? What any rejected person does… they grow cold to the person (they think) rejected them. She actually grows cold to the shy guy because she think he’s arrogant and cold to her!
2) To end up with a woman, you need to play the courtship dance
One thing that’s a prerogative in our species is that there is a certain courtship dance. A big step in it is displaying sexual interest. A woman can rarely see you as a sexual being unless you are, and act sexual around her. Shyness represses this in shy guys. They act completely asexually around women. So when the shy guy after years of friendship professes interest -it hits her out of the blue. It literally is like a brother professing interest. Its weird, its this asexual being she was friends with so long.
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